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<p>Entries from July 1, 2007 - July 31, 2007</p>
<p>Tuesday Jul 31 2007  The Gag Reel By: Mo Diggs</p>
<p>Tuesday, July 31, 2007 at 10:57AM Good: The Simpsons Movie rakes in more dough than any Pixar film.Bad: A Family Guy film seems as inevitable as a Shrek sequel.A new video site called My Damn Channel launched today with a focus on pro content from established stars like Harry Shearer, David Wain, and Andy Milonakis.Both The Ten and Hot Rod come out this Friday. One of them is the most anticipated movie of the summer according to CC Insider.Comic-Con Wrap-Up: Like indie rock festivals, comic book conventions are an increasingly popular venue for comedy promotion. At a screening for Superbad the Walk Hard trailer debuted. Walk Hard , an Apatow-produced film about the legend of a bloozy rock legend, stars John C. Reilly as Dewey Cox. The debut was well-received. Not to be outdone, Sarah Silverman showed clips of the second season of The Sarah Silverman Program . Brian Posehn , Laura Silverman , Zach Galifianakis , Steve Agee , Jay Johnston and Rob Schrab joined her. But the biggest comedy news was the announcement of the full-length Futurama feature film straight-to-DVD release date: November 27th. The only promotional blitz I can imagine for this is a mutant party in the New York City sewer system. Futurama fans will go anywhere for a little "snoo-snoo." Perhaps sensing that the films of National Lampoon aren't speaking properly to this generation of the breast obsessed, MAXIM Magazine decides to produce its own movies. Let's see: the first up is about "two horny guys who attend a cheerleading camp" and the second explores "three college seniors who try to sow their wild oats in New Orleans." We should just give the producers 300 million dollars now.Late Night With Jimmy Fallon . Late Night With Jimmy Fallon . Nope, still can't get used to the idea.Patton Oswalt waxes poetic about his time with Flavor Flav at the Comedy Central Roast. UP LATE TONIGHT:Andy Samberg on ConanSeth Rogen on LettermanJim Norton on KimmelSeth Rogen on Conan WednesdayAndy Samberg on Kimmel FridayJudd Apatow on Letterman FridayDVD Pick: Hot Fuzz . This is not so much my recommendation as mankind's recommendation. Tom Scharpling , co-workers, comedians -- I have yet to see a person slight this spoof. Which is no small feat because most spoofs have become parodies of themselves at this point.</p>

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<p>The Apiary | Post a Comment in TV/Film Monday Jul 30 2007  The Del Close Marathon 9 @ The UCBT - 7.27.7 - 7.29.7</p>
<p>Monday, July 30, 2007 at 9:11AM Ari Voukydis and Anthony Atamanuik in Wicked Fuckin' Queeyah, improv with a distinct Boston vibe.Sifting through the Nicoderm dream of another raging Del Close Marathon, with its vividly intense flashes of brilliance stopping abruptly in the face of waking life, it's impossible to put a definitive take on the event because one's experience varies drastically depending on one's level of involvement with improv and the community at large. Though there was something engaging for everyone--the disciples, the stargazers, the casual observers, and the pilgrims--generally speaking, the DCM is tailored for the hardcore and the initiated as a means to bring together our jutting paths. It's also a breathy coquette's whisper in the ears of the next generation of improv stars. The marathon is a marvelous feat of planning and engineering too, in that it's able to be pulled off so smoothly. 50 continuous hours of performance and guest relations and artist coordination and stocking beer and teching and keeping everyone happy and minding building codes--that ain't easy. The DCM is in a lot of ways a technical manifestation of improvisation as a whole: in the hands of the pro UCB staff, the madness onstage and in the beer soaked back hallways seems always magically controlled with an invisible net of trust, support, and respect. Does that make sense? Instead of highlighting any particular show, especially since the bombardier presentation style of the DCM lobs everything in one ear and out the other, here are some stories and anecdotes from the weekend.</p>

<p>The Scene BackstageBy: Rebecca CilettiWhile the crowd stood shoulder to shoulder packed in tight in the thick heat watching the UCB Del Close marathon this weekend, just as many people could be found hanging out in the back room and tunnels of the theater. Entering the back room was like entering the 5 circles of hell. Or the set of Knocked Up or Undeclared or any Judd Apatow project appealing to the 20-something male. In the crammed Green Room Matt Walsh showed off photos of his new baby while Ed Helms, Horatio Sanz and Rob Riggle milled about. "Is this the Del Close marathon or the Del Close sauna?" Jon Daly asked. A woman gave back massages for $1 per minute. She had a massage chair and everything. It was a lot like Burning Man. In the hallway, the air was thick with smoke and a giant, red plastic cigarette butt disposer sat by the door under a handwritten sign that read "No Smoking." The beer line wrapped down the wet hallway and people squeezed past, in and out of the back room. The back room was the real reason why everyone was there. Free beer, free jungle juice and couches. I wish I could say I made it out of the Green Room, I heard that there were a lot of great shows, fun costumes and even nudity, but I'm still there as I write this.Photo courtesy of Ari Scott</p>

<p>Sound Bytes From the 2007 Del Close MarathonBy: Eliot GlazerIf The DCM were a flavor of ice cream: "Melted chocolate, vanilla, strawberry Neapolitan on the sidewalk next to a mailbox." - Will HinesIf The DCM were a superhero: "Staminaman because he doesn't have to sleep and can drink a lot without getting really tired (but only for 50 hours at a time because he has to take the occasional break." - Peter GroszIf The DCM were a candybar: "A Snickers Marathon Bar, an energy bar that used to be a chain-link shaped chocolate-covered caramel treat that lasts a really, really long time." - Peter GwinnIf The DCM were a tween sitcom: " Electrify My Tennis Shoes." - Rob RiggleIf The DCM were a nursing home: "The Neverending Death Community." - John OliverIf The DCM were a breed of dog: - "An over bred pug, shaped like a meatball dressed in a baby gown, pushed in a carriage by a poodle" - Laura KrafftIf The DCM were a sneaker: "The Sweatshop Special" - Ed HelmsIf The DCM were a condiment: "Peanut Butter & Jelly combined." - Chuck DaubleIf The DCM were a variety of condom: - "Twisted Pleasure." - Chris KulaIf The DCM were a type of houseplant: "A creeping vine: you never know where it ends or where it began." - Christina GausasIf The DCM were an after-school club: "Drunken Sonic Assault." - Charlie ToddIf The DCM were a type of flower: "Magnolia - it only blooms once a year." - Charlie SandersIf The DCM were an article of clothing often worn by a middle aged woman: "A bracelet decorated with Egyptian scarabs." - Brian FaasIf The DCM were a chapter of the Bible: "I've never read The Bible." - Heather FinkIf The DCM were a piece of jewelry: "A hunk of ugly gold." - Jason Mantzoukas</p>

<p>RELATED LINKSThe OFFICIAL DCM Highlights ThreadAri Scott's Extensive DCM 2007 Photo SetZach Linder's Extensive DCM 2007 Photo SetA Los Angeleno Tourist Posts Her PhotosImprove Your Improv By 200% for Only $20A Weekend of HighlightsHey, That's My Improv Teacher Onstage Crazying it UpThe Only Event Where Everyone's Allowed to Be a Little Retarded?Thank Yous to the DCM StaffIN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Pre-DCM Tips!IN CASE YOU MISSED IT 2: Mid-DCM Tips!</p>

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<p>The Apiary | 1 Comment in Show Recap Monday Jul 30 2007  Ten Photos</p>
<p>Monday, July 30, 2007 at 4:25AM</p>

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<p>The Apiary | Post a Comment Friday Jul 27 2007  The Sting</p>
<p>Friday, July 27, 2007 at 9:49AM Just Incredible: This Just In to Just Go AwayComment War Erupts in ChicagoMichael Ian Black Hosts Blitzen Trapper on PRI's Fair GameRaise the Retractable Roof: Williamsburg Biergarten Gets Residents JazzedRejected Jokes With Nick KrollBravo TV Blogger Makes Office Experience Creepy By Saying Hi All the TimeJen Dziura and Ford Automobiles Unite to Reduce Dependency on Foreign OilNY Post Wants You to See Family Hour at The PITJen Kirkman Sez What's On Her Mind to GothamistThe Malls are the Soon to be Ghost TownsWain, Rudd, Marino & Singer @ Studio SXSWAndrew J. Lederer Lives Life Fast, to the LimitDon't Buy an XBox 360 Yet, Wait For the Nationwide Recall or Congressional InvestigationJust In Time for the DCM, Revisit the TSOYA interview with Anthony King and Ian Roberts</p>

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<p>The Apiary | Post a Comment in The Beehive Friday Jul 27 2007  Find He-Man.com Urges Area Pedestrians to Be on Lookout</p>
<p>Friday, July 27, 2007 at 9:48AM Usually shirtless. Often menacing. Always focused. No one knows the true origin of the Manhattan character pictured below, but one new website, www.findheman.com, seeks to find out.We came face to face with He-Man once; it began as an ordinary day at an ordinary time. We were walking to work (late) one morning and this fabled creature appeared out of nowhere (kind of near Shake Shack). Time stopped... yet our pulse raced. Were we in danger? We tried to remain in control, but our feeble bodies betrayed our fears. Sweat pooled in our palms as the giant drew closer. He passed without striking, but for a moment, we were certain his intense orbs had locked on to us with the sorts of heightened intentions our unevolved brains could never know. He's definitely out there on the streets of New York: if you see something, say something.Find He-ManAbout Find He-Man</p>

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<p>The Apiary | Post a Comment in The World Around You Friday Jul 27 2007  Punching In to Punch Lines: Mike Burns By: Sara Benincasa</p>
<p>Friday, July 27, 2007 at 7:57AM Continuing our interview series on the day jobs of comedians, Sara B. checks in with stand up Mike Burns to see how he spends his mornings.Mike Burns, you're a children's clothing designer. What does one need to study in college in order to obtain such a job?I have a degree in advertising from Michigan State University. It's now a worthless piece of paper that cost $40,000. I actually tossed it in the garbage, frame and all, when I moved from Chicago to New York. If you know about color balance, clothing, and can work Adobe Illustrator, just lie and make up a degree. No one checks that shit anyway. It costs them like 50 bucks and is a huge hassle for them. Just pick up a copy of Women's Wear Daily, answer a classified ad, and do a little research.What's your current gig like?I work for a company that we'll call, 'Sugar Cake Darlings'. It's family owned, which is better than working for big corporate like the Gap or something. But, it also means that the 'personal feelings' of higher ups can affect your employment as opposed to them just viewing your rate of production on a piece of paper.Tell me about some previous jobs in kids' fashion.The first design job I got was in Chicago in 1999. A placement agency got me an interview to work for a company's production department. This was the same day that an artist had resigned so the head boys' designer decided to interview me also because he peeked at my resume and saw that I had an art portfolio. Both departments offered me jobs, but my decision came down to what the boys' designer told me, "Mike, the job in production will pay you 45k a year, but it's in a regular office setting. You see what they wear over there? slacks, dress shoes, and if you sneeze, the VP will actually yell at you. Plus you'll type numbers into excel all day. This design job will pay you 8 bucks an hour to start, then we'll see after a month. But, you see what I wear to work? Shorts, flip flops, we blare classic rock all on the stereo all day, and you'll basically draw teddy bears. You won't be rich, but you'll be happy." I took the design job. We had licenses for Disney, Osh Kosh, Weather Tamer and a few others. After 4 years we got bought by a New York company and they dissolved us. The head girls' designer then took me on for a few years as the art director for what are called "trend books." Basically inspirational design publications that stem from the colors that are being established by textile manufacturers and European leanings. It was pure creative freedom and a lot of fun. Europeans dress their children like little adults. Cool stuff. Most of the kids stuff here I wouldn't let my dog chew let alone wear.Do you make enough money to support your comedy habit?I absolutely make enough to support my comedy habit. It's the sneaker habit, the booze habit, the cigarette habit, the pot habit, and the impulse habit of buying things like, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A NEW FLAVOR OF ORBITS GUM OR DORITOS OR VITAMIN WATER OR THE WENDY'S DOUBLE CHICKEN BACON RAPIST BUGER WRAP!!!' that I haven't tried that kill me. I'm a sucker for anything "new."</p>

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<p>The Apiary | 3 Comments | 2 References in EXCLUSIVELY at The Apiary Thursday Jul 26 2007  If You Had to Guess...</p>
<p>Thursday, July 26, 2007 at 9:39AM We don't know about you, but these subway ads make us want to get checked for EVERYTHING, even feline AIDS (which Debbie Downer taught us remains the number one killer of domestic cats). If you had to guess what this ad is about just based on the top half of it, what do you think?</p>

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<p>The Apiary | 5 Comments in General Interest Thursday Jul 26 2007  Matt Besser's Magical Sack of Dump @ The UCBT - 7.25.7</p>
<p>Thursday, July 26, 2007 at 7:09AM In town for the DCM, Matt Besser chatted with the audience, performed a collection of bits from his one man shows, and showed off some of his latest shorts in this assemblage titled Matt Besser's Magical Sack of Dump.NOTES--With religion and its banal codes and guidelines being a recurring frustration throughout Besser's life, Matt proposed revising the Ten Commandments in favor of an updated set of rulez. Commandment number 1: "Don't touch me!" His 5th commandment, "Close the screen door," admittedly did not go over well with this urban crowd who only know about screen doors from the movies or Page Six. --"How many people out there are in this freaky ass-fuck kid-fuck cult?" Matt asked, in an attempt to see what percentage of the audience was Catholic. Donning a papal head dressing, Besser needled Random Audience Members with an infallible 'gay or not' quiz. "When you are eating breakfast, do you choose a sausage and a donut... or a sausage and a sausage?" --The biggest pops of the night came from his character Jason Yellow, a stand up comedian who is deaf, blind, and missing both of his arms, aka, the winner of the fictional tv series/UCB LA stage show America's Best Comic. "I'm so blind, I don't even know how to hate black people." --Other topics included the N-word (we simply hate typing it!), how you can tell an asshole from the kind of hat he wears, and reefer. --According to mattbesser.com, Matt is looking to take his magical dump sack on the road. If you live in Portland, Seattle, or San Diego, get in touch with the man.Besser as Jason Yellow</p>

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