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<p>Entries in Reviews (34)</p>
<p>Friday Jul 11 2008  Reviews and Appraisals: The Onion MovieBy: Mark Hambly</p>
<p>Friday, July 11, 2008 at 8:00AM What happens when you take a dozen sketch ideas, turn them into credible news stories, and then turn the news stories back into sketches? That's the formula for The Onion Movie, a comedy film written by Onion writers Robert Siegel and Todd Hanson.REVIEW WITH WORDSBox Office Results for Movie Within Movie Top Actual MovieNEW YORK -- In a twisted turn of events for weekend box-office numbers, The Onion Movie was beat out by Cockpuncher, a movie contained entirely within The Onion Movie. Director Tom Kuntz was not surprised by the news: "We had plenty of funny ideas for The Onion Movie, but struggled to bring it all together," he explained. "Cockpuncher gave us the freedom to just not bring it together at all." Online movie review website Rotten Tomatoes has Cockpuncher listed with a fresh 93% rating, stating "Watching The Onion Movie was just like reading The Onion [newspaper], except while reading it you get socked in the junk ... and it feels really, really good."REVIEW USING A PICTURE</p>

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<p>keithhuang | 1 Comment in Reviews Tuesday Jul 01 2008  Reviewers Wanted</p>
<p>Tuesday, July 1, 2008 at 10:41AM Hey! What do you think about new movies? And what's your take on books and digital media? Perhaps you'd like to write about topics such as these? The Apiary is looking for 2 regular contributors for its Reviews and Appraisals features. It's pretty easy: the write-ups are limited to 1 paragraph and a picture review. If you're already consuming media at an alarming rate and you have a sense of the site's voice and style, this is an ideal position! We'll also set you up with press screenings and advance copies of stuff. The biggest potential benefit though is EVERLASTING FAME. Think about it. Imagine writing the only positive review for The Love Guru. That could totally be your name below the blaring quote, "What a thrillride!" Every time you pass a large stack of unsold Love Guru Blu-Ray discs at Best Buy, the remainder of your shopping spree will be filled with the kind of pride that goes with achievement. For consideration, please email theapiary@gmail.com with a brief introduction and any links to your online work.</p>

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<p>The Apiary | Post a Comment in Reviews Friday Jun 06 2008  Reviews and Appraisals: Dana Carvey's New HBO SpecialBy: Nathan Smart</p>
<p>Friday, June 6, 2008 at 9:38AM When nimble journeyman Nathan Smart pushed the power button on his television, the ensuing melange of sounds and pictures could hardly be described as TV at all. It was HBO! One could also describe the experience as Dana Carvey's new stand up special.REVIEW WITH WORDSIn Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies, the new Dana Carvey HBO Special, Dana Carvey does an impersonation of a current day John Travolta being tricked into joining an "even crazier" cult than Scientology. Of course, the impression he does is of John Travolta in Welcome Back, Cotter (which is really more a Vinnie Barbarino impression). That's like me doing an impression of my wife Meridith but doing her as a baby. Here's my impression of my wife Meridith: "WAAAAAAAAAAAH!"PICTURE REVIEW</p>

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<p>The Apiary | 13 Comments | 1 Reference in Reviews Friday May 16 2008  Reviews and Appraisals: Drawn Together Season 3 on DVD By: Nathan Smart</p>
<p>Friday, May 16, 2008 at 11:26AM When we informed REVIEWER EXTRAORDINAIRE Nathan Smart that a package requiring his immediate attention will be arriving in his mailbox soon, nothing could have prepared him for the DISORIENTING JOLT of being on the receiving end of a review copy of Drawn Together Season 3. We hope he likes it!REVIEW WITH WORDSOn the back of the DVD case for season three of Drawn Together, an animated Comedy Central show about cartoons living in a house together "Real World" style, the marketers exclaim that this season features, "MORE animated blood, MORE animated vomit, and MORE animated nipples." That struck me as weird because I understand animated blood and vomit--particularly of the MORE variety--and that it means I will see tons of blood and vomit being spewed everywhere. But what does it mean to have "MORE animated nipples?" How big are these nipples that I need to see them animated MORE than normal? Unless I'm reading that incorrectly and they just mean that there will be MORE npbi (nipples per boob inch). I don't know. I never did open it.PICTURE REVIEWAfter the jump!</p>

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<p>The Apiary | 3 Comments in Reviews Monday May 12 2008  Reviews and Appraisals: Comedy and Everything Else... By: Nathan Smart</p>
<p>Monday, May 12, 2008 at 11:42AM Nathan Smart put his precious sense of hearing ON THE LINE as he inserted his earbuds and cranked his MP3 player TO THE MAX in order to take in Todd Glass' new podcast Comedy and Everything Else.... Was it all worth it?!</p>
<p>A REVIEW WITH WORDSTodd Glass has the best laugh I've ever heard in my life. It's like a mix between Dan Connor (of Roseanne) yelling at his kids and a chimpanzee. His new podcast with Jimmy Dore and Stefane Zamorano is a weekly podcast where they feature his laugh for anywhere from one to two hours. They take turns getting him mad about something and then making him laugh that he got so mad. It's probably the best podcast I've ever downloaded. Never Not Funny finally has some competition in the Funniest Podcast Available Department (which is between Men's Clothing and Housewares).A REVIEW WITH AUDIOhttp://www.nathansmart.com/mp3s/podcasts/laughcast1.mp3</p>

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<p>The Apiary | 2 Comments in Reviews Friday Apr 25 2008  Reviews and Appraisals: Walk Hard on DVDBy: Nathan Smart</p>
<p>Friday, April 25, 2008 at 11:26AM Did too many Walk Hard wieners wilt the mood for Nathan Smart and his funtime friends? Find out below!</p>
<p>REVIEW WITH WORDSDear Judd Apatow, There are three dick shots in your movie Walk Hard, now out on DVD. I was watching this movie with some conservative Christian friends. I love your movies but this was one of the most uncomfortable things to have to watch in front of them. Thanks a lot Judd but I'm going to have to call you on this one. Kind Regards, Nathan SmartPICTURE REVIEW</p>

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<p>The Apiary | 2 Comments in Reviews Friday Apr 18 2008  Reviews and Appraisals: All the Sad Young Literary Men</p>
<p>Friday, April 18, 2008 at 11:46AM The debut novel by N+1 editor Keith Gessen goes under The Apiary's telescope! WORD REVIEWThere's a wonderful quote inscribed on the facade of the Brooklyn Public Library's central branch. It reads, "Here are enshrined the longing of great hearts and noble things that tower above the tide, the magic word that winged wonder starts, the garnered wisdom that has never died." I have no idea who said it but I wonder if this person was predicting the arrival of All the Sad Young Literary Men and the longing heart of Keith Gessen. His garnered wisdom: we're all going to be washed up by 29, surrendering ourselves to the winged wonder of inadequacy, bankrupt passions, and yellow teeth. Oh noes! Who's to blame if a Harvard man is unfulfilled? Where has society failed? Despite the gloominess (not quite a beach read), it can be quite funny.PICTURE REVIEW</p>

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<p>The Apiary | Post a Comment in Reviews Friday Apr 11 2008  Reviews and Appraisals: Happyslapped By a Jellyfish: The Words of Karl Pilkington By: Nathan Smart</p>
<p>Friday, April 11, 2008 at 12:10PM Could a little restylane save Ricky Gervais' podcasting sidekick's recent book from Nathan Smart's incisive, unyielding judgment?WORD REVIEWOn the cover of Happyslapped By a Jellyfish: The Words of Karl Pilkington, there is a picture of the author's head. It's just the top half--starting from the eyes--and all I can think when I see it is, "Karl Pilkington's got a head like a fucking orange."* He's looking up at the title of the book and so his forehead is wrinkled. He doesn't have any hair above the forehead so it looks like an invisible man is trying to push the wrinkles down in the middle. They look like a kid's drawing of birds off in the distance of a beach scene. My favorite part about the picture is that he has these tiny little ears that just barely peak out of the side of his head and they really do look like chimp ears. Ricky Gervais was right about this one. *Do you put thoughts in quotations?PICTURE REVIEWRELATEDKarl Pilkington's diary as written by Ricky GervaisRicky Gervais explains thingsThe Ricky Gervais Show Podcast</p>

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