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<p>« Essays From Crazy People: The Next Words Out of Your Mouth Better Be ‘I Will Sell You 300 Credenzas’ | Main| Inside With: Tom Sibley, Proprietor of SubwayDouchery.com » Thursday Jun 03 2010  Al Gore’s Online Dating Profile</p>
<p>Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 11:05AM By: Meghan O'Keefe</p>

<p>It's tough for anyone out there in the dating scene, let alone Al Gore. After 45 years of being with the same woman, our former Vice President is jumping back feet first into the dating scene... at least, if this online dating profile we found is any indication.</p>

<p>User Name: GoreTech3000</p>

<p>Sex: Male</p>

<p>Age: 62</p>

<p>Star Sign: Aries</p>

<p>Interested in: Women</p>

<p>Looking for: Friendship, Hook-ups, Dating, NSA, Perhaps another 40-year Marriage</p>

<p>Relationship Status: Single for the first time in half a century</p>

<p>Have Kids: Several</p>

<p>Ethnicity: Really White, Caucasian</p>

<p>Body Type: Curvy</p>

<p>Religion: Only Mentioned During Campaign Years</p>

<p>Smoke: Causes Global Warning</p>

<p>Drink: Only the Blood of Children in Secret Illuminati Meetings</p>

<p>Pets: Iggy, my pet iguana, hangs out on my shoulder pretty much all the time when I'm at home. Must love iguanas!</p>

<p>About Me: Politician. Activist. Journalist. Veteran. Father. Harvard Alum. Grammy-award winner…All these titles could apply to me. I feel like although I have led a wonderful life, certain things have been missing. Namely, an appreciation for rap music, sexual promiscuity and the United States presidency. To amend this I have a three step plan: 1) Buy the soundtrack to the Motion Picture Save the Last Dance to augment my understanding of urban music 2) Take you out to a tasteful vegan dinner followed by a night of discreet lovemaking at a four star hotel and 3) Save the world by challenging Sarah Palin in the 2012 election.</p>

<p>Likes:Environmentalism; Surfing my invention, "the internet"; Winning Nobel Peace Prizes I actually earned; Telling everyone “I told you so”</p>

<p>Dislikes: Injustice; When people get "snippy"; Recounts; Jill Zarin (she's just so gosh darn annoying!)</p>

<p>Why You Should Date Me: If you like "dirty talk" in the bedroom, I will gladly tell you how you've been very naughty and how your careless behavior has endangered the environment.</p>

<p>The Apiary | 4 Comments tagged Al Gore , Breakups , Online Dating in Humor Reader Comments (4)</p>
<p>I'm 60 and live in Ohio. I would like to date you, Al. Get in touch. We have a lot in common.</p>

<p>Sandy</p>

<p>December 21, 2010 | Sandy Cleary I am 60 and live in Ohio. We have a lot in common. I want to date you Al.</p>

<p>Sandy</p>

<p>December 21, 2010 | Sandy Cleary Now just read the comments at the following youtube and copy the postings and post them everywhere and save them and print them up and fax them to everyone ASAP.</p>

<p>youtube(.)com/watch?v=7QspqwXIxYY</p>

<p>Signed,</p>
<p>An American Patriot Jeff Bootstraps Fisher</p>

<p>Oh wow what a google search that is</p>
<p>just click or copy this link as well</p>

<p>Just remove parentheses</p>

<p>google(.)com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=signed,+an+american+Patriot+Jeff++Fisher+2006+yahoo+rose+parson&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8</p>

<p>June 15, 2012 | JEFF BOOTSTRAPS FISHER Now just read the comments at the following youtube and copy the postings and post them everywhere and save them and print them up and fax them to everyone ASAP.</p>

<p>youtube(.)com/watch?v=7QspqwXIxYY</p>

<p>Signed,</p>
<p>An American Patriot Jeff Bootstraps Fisher</p>

<p>Oh wow what a google search that is</p>
<p>just click or copy this link as well</p>

<p>Just remove parentheses</p>

<p>google(.)com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=signed,+an+american+Patriot+Jeff++Fisher+2006+yahoo+rose+parson&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8</p>

<p>June 15, 2012 | JEFF BOOTSTRAPS FISHER Post a New Comment</p>
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