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<p>« Traveling Funnypants: Michael Showalter Embarks on National Book Tour | Main| THE HONEY SHOT - CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN » Wednesday Feb 23 2011  5 Pictures of Beard Hairnets and 1 Solution for Better Facial Hair Management</p>
<p>Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 3:45PM In Katy Perry's hit single Firework, she famously asks, "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Drifting through the wind? Or one that's on the face of the guy making your churros at Costco?" I didn't know what Katy was talking about until yesterday when I went to buy churros at the Costco concession stand. The guy making them had a hairnet on his head... AND A HAIRNET ON HIS BEARD!</p>
<p>I stepped out of line to compose myself. I contemplated taking a picture of the dude but then I felt really sad and concerned about the world. The Costco executive who wrote this absurd hairnet policy into the employee handbook should be thrown out a window. Why must I order from a guy wearing a bag on his face? How can either of us take this transaction seriously? I'm not buying Intel Pentium chips, just a couple of snacks!</p>
<p>I mean, is beard hair really that big of a threat? Do beards even shed? Is my beard shedding? Oh my god, did I drop a facial hair in the dish I made for the potluck I'm going to tonight? Is it true the average human consumes over 70 facial hairs throughout their lifetime??</p>
<p>Anyways, I did some research and found 5 pictures of people wearing beard hairnets.</p>
<p>You're probably thinking what I was thinking: NONE OF THESE PREVENT NOSEHAIR OR EYEBROWS FROM FALLING INTO MY FOOD! I came up with an elegant solution just for that problem. Take a regular bag like this one I got from my mom's grocery bag collection and place it on your head. For optimal containment, be sure to tie it tightly around your neck so no hair can escape. If you're a teen, you can add sunglasses or a doo rag, so you can still rock a cool look while staying within whatever stupid food prep guidelines your employer has embarrassingly forced upon you.</p>
<p>The Apiary | 1 Comment | 2 References tagged beard management in Humor References (2)</p>
<p>References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.  *  Response: please click the up coming article at please click the up coming article on April 10, 2013 5 Pictures of Beard Hairnets and 1 Solution for Better Facial Hair Management - The Apiary - The Apiary - A Comedy Website</p>
<p>*  Response: iHUnSPXO at iHUnSPXO on April 25, 2013 5 Pictures of Beard Hairnets and 1 Solution for Better Facial Hair Management - The Apiary - The Apiary - A Comedy Website</p>
<p>Reader Comments (1)</p>
<p>Beard nets are actually required by local health departments, usually for any facial hair longer than 1/2". If one Costco (or other food retailer) is in a county that enforces that code, then Costco most likely will adopt that reg into their own policies.</p>
<p>May 16, 2012 | MLL Post a New Comment</p>
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