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« Is This the Oldest and Best Joke Book in the World? | Main| Things I Was Offered to Cover Someone's Shift at The PIT » Tuesday Aug 02 2011 Hot Tips To Help You Maximize Your Experience at the Borders Books Liquidation Sale
Tuesday, August 2, 2011 at 2:35PM
Now that every Borders bookstore in the country is closing and liquidating everything, it's time to go shopping! Here are some Do's and Don'ts to help you navigate their going-out-of-business sale.
DO: Hide everything you want to buy discreetly somewhere completely useless like the 2010 Wall Calendar section. Then wait 2 weeks for the 90% off sale.
DON'T: Take this opportunity to stock up on Robert Kiyosaki books. Here's a get rich quick secret: IT'S NOT HAPPENING!
DO: Begin thinking about a new store where you can spend your day sprawled across the floor, nursing a Gatorade, with spent LARA bar wrappers strewn around you. Kmart?
DO:Make a sad face and a tear drop motion with your finger when you get in a conversation with a Borders employee about their job uncertainty.
DON'T: Knock over bookshelves "just for funsies."
DON'T: Reload your Borders gift card.
DO:Think about what fixtures you need in your apartment. Chances are you'll go to Borders looking for a copy of the Hunger Games and come out with a barista counter.
DO: Sell everything you've just bought on Amazon for double.
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