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<p>Entries by The Apiary (2796)</p>
<p>Monday Aug 01 2011  Things I Was Offered to Cover Someone's Shift at The PIT</p>
<p>Monday, August 1, 2011 at 2:56PM If you have the pleasure of interning at The PIT, not only will you SAVE BIG $$$ on your improv classes and learn some of the ins and outs of running a comedy theater, but you'll also get placed on a somewhat humorous email list introducing you to the lurid, backdoor black market of shift swapping. Each intern is assigned a weekly time slot for 8 weeks and if something comes up one of those weeks, then you need to find someone to swap with you. These requests are generally accompanied by dramatic, unhinged emails with all caps subject lines like 'OH GOD SOMEBODY HELP ME' and 'I'M NEEDED AT MY 2ND COUSIN'S CHRISTENING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, WON'T ANYONE HAVE MERCY??' Here are all the offers I got over the past couple of months: * "I've got a friend who works at Baked by Melissa. I could hook you up with cupcakes. Or something other than pastries. It's really up to you."</p>
<p>* "I can also bake some delightful treats for you."</p>
<p>* "I'll give you donuts."</p>
<p>* "I will buy you two beers after your shift. Or if you prefer, bring you cookies."</p>
<p>* "I will totally swap a shift with you on a day I'm free, and buy you a beer or two. Best part, I'll be at the bar after the show when you get off of your shift. This means I can buy you the drink right then and there. Immediate gratification."</p>
<p>* "If anyone would be willing to cover for me, I would buy you so many coffees or anything cheap and legal you desire."</p>
<p>* "I'll buy you a drink or a cookie or gum."</p>
<p>* "I am willing to knit you either a hat or a scarf (well, as long as you're willing to wait for a few months.). Or if you hate knitted goods, I can buy you a drink."</p>
<p>Which would you take?</p>
<p>The Apiary | 1 Comment | 7 References tagged The PIT in Improv Friday Jul 29 2011  Put Your Stinking Paws Together for The Apes of Wrath</p>
<p>Friday, July 29, 2011 at 4:13PM</p>
<p>I'm anticipating the debut ofThe Apes of Wrath, a promising-sounding musical written and directed by Mark Sarianthat's scheduled for a UCB SPANK show on Thursday 8/4. Mark tells us, "It has a lot of great UCB performers in it and is a lock to be better than Rise of the Planet of the Apes. And it's a musical! And we're using actual ape foam latex prosthetics!" (Sounds like it could use some CGI.)</p>
<p>> The time is the near future. Apes supplant dogs and cats as household pets, and replace humans as waiters, landscapers, and even strippers. But during this tumultuous time, while apes secretly plan to overthrow their human oppressors, one universal constant remains: forbidden love.</p>
<p>FUN FACT: The Apes of Wrath is the title of a GWAR song. It's not my favorite GWAR song though.</p>
<p>The Apiary | 1 Comment | 30 References tagged Apes of Wrath , Mark Sarian in Upcoming Friday Jul 29 2011  Spend 7 Minutes in Heaven With Kristen Wiig</p>
<p>Friday, July 29, 2011 at 2:45PM Watch smitten SNL writer Mike O'Brien go 4 and a half out of 7 minutes in a closet with Kristen Wiig.</p>
<p>PREVIOUSLY</p>
<p>* Michael O'Brien in SHATTER @ The UCBT - 7.7.10</p>
<p>The Apiary | 4 Comments | 3 References tagged 7 Minutes in Heaven in Videos Friday Jul 29 2011  Mamrie Hart Will Teach You Drinking</p>
<p>Friday, July 29, 2011 at 11:38AM Combine 1 celebrity in the news, 1 part alcohol, 5000 puns, and Mamrie Hart into a shaker, cover and rattle vigorously to make You Deserve a Drink, Mamrie's new web series that's as sweet as Peach Schnapps.</p>
<p>Over 100,000 views!</p>
<p>The Apiary | 1 Comment | 2 References tagged Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink in Videos Friday Jul 29 2011  WitOut's Del Close Marathon 13 Preview</p>
<p>Friday, July 29, 2011 at 11:12AM The Philly comedy site WitOut released a guide to the 13th annual Del Close Marathon, happening August 12th - 14th at the UCBT-NY. Time to start getting pumped! The Apiary | 6 Comments | 20 References tagged DCM 13 , WitOut in Improv Friday Jul 29 2011  SPOTTED: Alden Ford and Justin Tyler and Some Turkey Burgers</p>
<p>Friday, July 29, 2011 at 10:10AM Sidecar's Alden Ford and Justin Tyler were SPOTTED recently in Union Square handing out FREE! turkey burgers on behalf of some kind of mobile advocacy group/death panel dedicated to the slaughter of hundreds of millions of adorable baby turkeys. A truck full of turkey slingers is cruising around NYC this week, it might be in front of your home or office right now. Go look. Not sure what the microphone in this picture is for. Is a reality series about turkey sandwiches in the works? The Apiary | Post a Comment | 3 References tagged Alden Ford , Justin Tyler , Turkey Trucks in General Interest Wednesday Jul 27 2011  Ask For it By Name: Arthur Meyer for Zappos</p>
<p>Wednesday, July 27, 2011 at 10:03AM  It looks like Zappos may have found its own Travelocity Gnome in the form of LNWJF fan-favorite Arthur Meyer. Arthur streaks nude across your computer screen and runs retardedly over vast stretches of generic pop-up portals searching for clothes in a clever and funny YAHOO FRONT PAGE rich media ad. We can spend hours debating how he lost his pants or how he got stuck in the internet, but since it costs a zillion dollars a day to serve this ad, go to Yahoo soon to see it in its entirety. Or you can start here at: http://www.itmightrain.com/weather.html</p>
<p>The Apiary | 1 Comment | 8 References tagged Arthur Meyer , Zappos in Ask For It By Name Tuesday Jul 19 2011  Ann Carr Eats a Sad Cheesy Biscuit in The Michelle Cremberry Show</p>
<p>Tuesday, July 19, 2011 at 10:34AM Ann Carr goes once again to that special place where mania, anxiety, sadness, and modern life combine in The Michelle Cremberry Show, a new video by Serious Lunch.</p>
<p>THE MICHELLE CREMBERRY SHOW from Serious Lunch on Vimeo.</p>
<p>PREVIOUSLY</p>
<p>* Inside With: Ann Carr</p>
<p>* Ann Carr in The Actress</p>
<p>The Apiary | 1 Comment tagged Ann Carr , Serious Lunch in Videos Page 1 ... 2 3 4 5 6 ... 350 Next 8 Entries » Copyright © 2011, [theapiary.org]. All rights reserved.</p>